Halo: Through the Mist
by scarlett2112
Summary: *Halo Sequel* Two years after meeting Elena, Damon struggles with their relationship. Does Elena love him for him or does she love him because he carries Matt's heart inside of his chest? When his health takes a turn for the worst, how will they cope and what comes next for the two of them?
1. Chapter 1

_**This is the sequel to 'Halo: The End of the Beginning'. You should probably read that first so you know the context of this one. Link in my story profile. It's just a two-shot so it should only take a few minutes to read.**_

 _ **Part One: It Is What It Is.**_

* * *

Carefully I pull Jack's bedroom door closed so as not to wake him up. Taking a breath, I push my back against his door and slide down the wall. Dropping my face into my hands, I don't know what to do. I'm so confused about everything. I just wish I knew if she loved me for me or if she's using me for his replacement since I carry his heart inside of my chest. I'm so in love with her but yet, I can't, no I won't be with her if it's only him she sees when she looks at me or only him she's imagining when I'm inside of her. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I guess I always wondered if it was her life with him that she's hanging onto. Not wanting her to find me like this, I get up and go downstairs. She went to our bedroom after I told her that I would tuck Jack into bed.

The boy is already four years old. I met him and Elena just after he turned two, about a year and a half after I got Matt's heart. I wanted to thank her personally for donating the gift of life to me. But when I felt her spread palm against my chest, I felt so many things in just that moment. It was electric. Sure, I was a bit of a Casanova in high school but that was before I had the massive heart attack which necessitated the transplant. I was pretty much trapped in my home tethered to an oxygen machine after that. My parents hired a tutor to help me get my high school diploma. I did take college courses on line till I got Matt's heart. After I was feeling good and sufficiently healed, I was able to attend college like everyone else.

What placed these doubts in my mind about us? For whatever reason, whether to honor his memory or to keep him alive, I don't know but his study is exactly as it was the last time he was in it. Although she hasn't come out and told me to stay out of that room, it's door is always, always closed unless she's in there. I don't even know if she's aware of how it makes me feel. On that day, I came home from work early. I looked all over downstairs and couldn't find her. When I walked upstairs, I heard her voice as I approached that room. Unable to stop myself, I peaked into it. Although her back wasn't facing me, her eyes were closed so she didn't notice my voyeurism I guess you could call it. It's like she was in her own little world where only she and Matt exist. In her hands was his picture clutched tightly against her chest. I could see the moisture on her cheeks and hear her whispering how much she loves and misses him. Knowing that I can't compete with a ghost, I backed away on knees that could hardly carry me and left the house.

I know I love her and Jack too with every fiber of my being but I'm not him nor will I ever be. It sickens me to be jealous of his memory. I can't hate him because the only reason I'm standing here is because his heart beats inside of my chest. Looking around, I live in his house with his wife and his son and I feel like a thief. Feeling beads of perspiration begin to form on my brow, I wipe them away while at the same time a twinge of nausea settles in my stomach. Knowing that I'm going to hurl, I hurry to the bathroom, spilling my dinner into the toilet. Collapsing to the floor, I drop my chin to my chest. Suddenly I feel like crap again. I know something is very wrong with me because I've been feeling sick on and off for a couple of weeks now. Since I know that I can't put it off any longer, I make up my mind to give my doctor a call the next morning.

Exhausted by the weight of all that's on my mind, I walk into our room, quickly take a shower and then crawl into our bed. Not long after, I feel the bed dip when she crawls in herself. When I feel her hand on my cheek, my heart starts pounding against my chest. I try to pretend that I'm asleep but I've always been lousy at playing possum.

"You feel really warm, Damon. Do you have a fever?"

"I didn't check."

"I'll go get the thermometer."

"No, Elena, I'm just really tired okay?"

"But Damon, I think we should check it."

"Elena, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight now," I whisper, rolling over so my back is to her front. I release a silent sigh when I feel her drape an arm around my middle.

"I love you, Damon."

"I love you too, Elena. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," she whispers, pressing a kiss to the skin between my shoulder blades.

When I wake up the next morning, she's still sleeping so I slowly get out of bed and hurry downstairs to call my doctor. Nodding along when he tells me to go to the emergency room, I quickly write Elena a note and tell her that I'm going to go to visit my parents in Virginia Beach for a couple of days. And that's where my doctor happens to be so rather than go to the ED here in Mystic Falls, I decide to go home. Plus there's the fact that I just don't want her to worry about me. She has enough on her mind as is. Sneaking back into our bedroom, I lay the envelope on my pillow then tiptoe in the closet to grab a few things. As soon as I finish I hurry to leave before she wakes up. Jumping into my car, I breathe a huge sigh of relief that I made it out of there without having to face her. Although I'm no coward, if something is wrong with my heart, she doesn't need to know. Honestly, it's probably the biggest reason why she gave me a second glance and invited me to share her life. Pushing that aside for now, I roll down the window and turn the radio on. Suddenly feeling nauseous again, I have to pull over to the side of the road, losing only bile onto the gravel beneath me.

As soon as I see a gas station, I pull in, fill my tank and grab a bottle of water to rinse my mouth out. Even water doesn't sit right in my gut. Picking up my cellphone, I call my dad to tell him that I'm going to the emergency room. After he reassures me that he and mom will meet me there, I jump back in my car, fortunately my stomach settles a bit by the time I pull into the emergency department parking lot in Virginia Beach. Feeling fatigued already, I walk in, immediately accosted by my parents. Mom places her hand to my head and she knows that I'm feverish.

"Damon, how long have you felt sick?"

"Not for very long. Just for the last week or two."

"Have you been taking your medication?"

"Yes, of course, mom. But with the nausea and vomiting, I don't know how many of them stayed down."

"Come let's get you registered so you can be seen," she says, latching on my arm almost as if I was still her little boy. When it's my turn to sit at the window, I give the clerk all of my information. Before long, the nurse takes me and my parents back to an exam room. After taking my medical history and asking about what brought me to the ED, lab comes into draw my blood. The next thing I know, I'm being wheeled to cardiac services to have an echocardiogram done. By the time that's done, I feel so tired. Once I get back to my exam room, Dr. Thompson is talking to my parents. He's been my cardiologist since I _died_ on the basketball court that fateful day.

"Damon," he says, extending his hand for me to shake.

"Well, what's the bad word?"

"Looking at what you told the nurse, combined with your lab work, I believe this is acute on top of chronic transplant rejection. You've been very fortunate so far and have been pretty healthy since you had your transplant. But the human immune system is very complicated. It enables you to defend your body against invasion by foreign protein substances, whether in disease-causing microbes or transplanted organs from another human being who is not genetically identical. In a healthy immune system, white blood cells circulate through the body looking for foreign invaders like bacteria or viruses. If a foreign invader enters your body, perhaps through a skin cut, your immune system automatically sees it as a threat and attacks it. Unfortunately your heart is also foreign and your immune system treats it the same as it would a bacteria or virus. Rejection is your body's attempt to protect you by attacking a foreign protein that has entered your body."

"What do we do about it? Am I going to have to go on a transplant list again?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself. Acute rejection isn't at all uncommon. Currently the only way to diagnose rejection is for us to do a heart biopsy. You know this, Damon. You've had them before. There is nothing other than taking the prescribed medications that you can do to prevent this from happening. Treatment for rejection is determined by severity and the time interval since transplantation. But Damon, currently there are no available methods to suppress your body's response to a foreign organ without also impairing its response to infections."

"So what happens after the biopsy?"

"It depends on the severity of the rejection, Damon. I'm going to write admitting orders. I'm going to order you to be NPO or nothing by mouth in case you didn't remember that. I'll schedule the biopsy for later this afternoon. Have you eaten anything today? I know it's scary even at your advanced age," he teases, "but early treatment is critical to successfully reversing rejection. Most episodes can be reversed if we are able to treat early. Treatment may include giving you high doses of intravenous steroids called Solumedrol, changing the dosages of your anti-rejection medications, or adding new medications. Severe or persistent rejections may require treatment with powerful medications and/or plasmapheresis. It's a procedure in which antibodies are removed from your blood. Again, Damon, I have to stress that early treatment is critical to successfully reversing rejection."

"How long will I be in the hospital? I told my girlfriend that I was going to visit mom and dad for a couple of days. She doesn't know that I haven't been feeling well."

"It depends on how aggressively we have to treat this, Damon. It says here that you've had some fevers too?"

"I haven't been feeling the best."

"Your lab work is still pending. I'm going to have them do blood and urine cultures as well. And because your immune system is compromised, I'm going to order neutropenic precautions. Aside from all of this, have you eaten today?"

"No, I've been sick to my stomach for a few days. I just had a few swallows of water to rinse out my mouth after losing a bunch of bile on the way over here."

"Alright then. I'm going to go call endoscopy to see what time I can do your biopsy. I'll be back shortly."

"Thank you, Dr. Thompson."

"You're welcome, Damon. They'll be taking you to a room soon. Try to get some rest okay?"

"Sure," I agree, letting out a breath. After giving me one more nod, he leaves the three of us alone.

"You two don't have to stay you know. I'm a big boy."

"Of course you are, Damon. Why didn't you tell Elena that you're feeling ill?"

"Because this is or was her husband's heart that I'm carrying inside of me. I don't want her to know that my body may be rejecting it. I'm so confused, mom."

"Why? Elena and Jack love you," dad adds, looking at me pointedly.

"Do they or is Matt's heart that they love?"

"What makes you doubt her suddenly?"

"Little things, dad. I find her talking to him often, holding his picture to her heart. I know it's me she goes to bed with but is she wishing or imagining me to be him?"

"Oh Damon. You need to talk to her about what you're feeling. Perhaps you're misinterpreting some of what you saw?"

"I'm afraid, mom. I love her, I don't want to let her go. But by the same token, I want her to love me for me and not because it's her dead husband's heart that beats inside of my chest."

Standing up, she walks over to the exam table that I'm sitting on and wraps me in her arms, embracing me like she always did when I was little to make me feel better. Closing my eyes, I just let myself be comforted for a few moments. When there's knock on the door, she steps back, but takes my hand in hers.

"Mr. Salvatore, I'm here to take you to your room upstairs."

Nodding, I get up and sit in the wheelchair. Even though I feel the chair moving, my head is a chaotic mess. Between my health and my heart, I just wish I could curl up in some corner and forget about everything for just a little while.

* * *

 _"Good morning," I whisper, pulling her back to my front. Lifting her curtain of hair, I start to press kisses to the back of her swan-like neck. My woman is so damn beautiful._

 _"Mmm," she murmurs, wiggling her pert little bottom against my morning wood._

 _With my hand, I reach under her flowy pajama top to cup one of her breasts. They're the perfect size to fit in my palm. With my thumb and forefinger, I tease her nipple till it's erect. I move in closer, press open mouthed kisses to the space between her neck and shoulder and that spot just behind her ear that seems to drive women wild._

 _Unable to wait any longer, I throw her leg over my hip to open her up and then slide inside her already drenched core. The exquisiteness of her is beyond words. She's truly my Aphrodite. I love her so very much and I try to tell her and show her in the way I make love to her. In and out, round and round, I swivel my hips trying to hit that spot that drives her wild. She's rocking her hips to meet my thrusts. Her moans and groans and colorful metaphors fill the room. I have to laugh because the only time she swears is when we're making love and when she's close to her release. Placing my hand at the apex of her thighs, I stroke her most sensitive spot and in the next moment, she cries aloud, her body stiffens and she trembles like a magnitude ten earthquake. I've never seen her more beautiful than when she surrenders herself to the throes of passion._

 _Needing my own release, I roll her onto her tummy, cover her with my body and drive into her, my hips piston like a well oiled machine. A few strokes later, I scream her name aloud, my body freezes and then I tremor as if I was seizuring. As soon as I can move, I pull out and roll onto my back till I get my bearings again. Wanting her in my arms, I roll onto my side and pull her close once more, pressing a quick kiss to the back of her shoulders._

 _"I love you, Elena," I whisper, my arms holding her snug against me._

 _"I love you too, Matt."_

Waking up with a start, I lurch upright. That morning was so beautiful till she called me Matt. In fairness, she was almost asleep but it still cut deep and to this day, it still hurts intensely when I think about it. When I said something to her, she apologized, claiming she was nearly asleep but that doesn't change the fact that she said his name after I made love to her. Raking my hand through my hair, I throw my legs over the side of the bed to get up to go to the bathroom. Just as I'm about to stand up, my cellphone rings. Picking it up, I see that it's her.

"Hello, Elena."

 _"Damon, you didn't call last night. I wanted to see if everything was alright?"_

"I'm sorry. I was so tired last night. Mom and dad took me out to eat and then I went straight to bed after we came home."

" _Is everything okay, Damon? You seem kind of distant lately."_

"Everything is fine, Elena. Don't worry, okay?"

" _I love you, Damon. Of course I'm going to worry. Jack has been asking about you too."_

"I love you too, Elena. I'll be home in a couple of days."

 _"I hope you know that you can share whatever it is with me. We're supposed to confide in each other."_

"Elena, don't do that. Nothing is wrong, okay? I just wanted to spend a couple of days with mom and dad plus I had my scheduled doctor appointment."

 _"I forgot all about that. Is everything alright?"_

"Yes, Elena. Listen I have to go now. Mom is calling me. I'll call you tonight."

" _Alright. Goodbye, Damon. I love you."_

"Me too, bye now," I add, clicking off the phone before she can say anything else. When I get back from the bathroom, Dr. Thompson is walking in, his nose buried in my chart.

"Good morning, Damon."

"What's the bad word?" I ask, bracing myself for the bad news.

"The pathologist reviewed the tissue slide. The diagnosis of rejection rates the presence and severity of rejection based in the International Society and Heart Lung Transplant Scale. He rates your level of reject as '2R' which means moderate rejection. We'll be giving you high doses of intravenous steroids. It's called Solumedrol. Then I'm going to raise the dose of your immunosuppressive drugs. You also have had fevers and nausea and vomiting. Even though you have an occult infection, your white cell count is low. I talked to an infectious disease specialist, Dr. Elijah Mikaelson. I've asked him to consult on your case. He'll be in to see you sometime today. It was his suggestion that I order the antibiotics. You should have gotten a couple of doses of it through your IV by now."

"I did. How long will I have to be here?"

"At least a few days, Damon."

"I can take the steroids and antibiotics by mouth so I can get back to Mystic Falls?"

"I suppose you could check yourself into the Mystic Falls hospital but Damon we need to give these steroids IV for at least a couple of days."

"Fine, I'll just tell my girlfriend that I'm staying at my folks for a couple of extra days."

"If I'm in the building, I'll stop in later otherwise I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Dr. Thompson."

"Oh and I asked Dr. Winchester, your transplant surgeon, to consult on your case. He's out of town till tomorrow but I did talk to him on the phone. He advised me to order the steroids."

"That's probably a good idea."

"It is. Get some rest. I'll see you later," he adds then leaves me alone.

Getting up, I walk over to the window to look outside. It's a beautiful day but I feel dark inside because I know that I have to say goodbye to Elena. Despite what the doctor says, I know this is serious. I won't allow her to watch me die. She already lost Matt tragically. And I can't let her know that my body is rejecting his heart, the heart that drew her to me. Leaning against the wall, I close my eyes and for the first time, I let my tears fall.

* * *

 _There you have part 1._

 _A big thanks to Eva for all of your help with this. I don't know how many times we went back and forth trying to get this story right._

 _I hope you all like this. This story is short. Part 2 is huge-ish and will be in Elena's POV._

 _Neutropenic precautions are protective isolation. Neutropenic means a low white blood cell count. We have to wear gowns and gloves and masks when we go into the patient's room._

 _Echocardiogram: A test of the action of the heart using ultrasound waves to produce a visual display, used for diagnosis and monitoring of heart disease._

 _Chapter title: 'It Is What It Is' by Lifehouse._

 _I did update 'Nothing Left to Fear' yesterday. We're nearing the end of 'Angels Fall' and 'Dig'. As soon as they're done, I will start regularly posting 'Turn the Page'. I did start a facebook page for my stories. facebook scarlett2112 fanfiction if you're interested._

 _Please remember to click the review button. Have a safe and wonderful day._


	2. Take My Breath Away

"Hello Elena, how are you today?"

"I've been feeling a little tired lately. My appetite has been ravenous though. Yourself?"

"I'm well, thank you for asking. So what brought you to see me today?"

"I think I could be pregnant but I haven't said anything to Damon yet. Could the anti-rejection medication he takes affect his sperm somehow?"

"They have made many advancements, Elena. I would have to do some research on that but I believe it's more deleterious for the woman who would have to take the drugs while pregnant. I don't believe you have anything to worry about though. Is that the only reason you haven't told him?"

"I don't know, Bonnie. I sense that he's pulling away from me. Maybe he's having second thoughts about a life with Jack and me and is afraid to say anything. I just wish he'd talk to me."

"I'm sorry, Elena. Damon is my friend too and there's no doubt in my mind that he loves you. Could it be something else?"

"I don't know, Bonnie. Like I said, he won't talk to me. He's quiet and withdrawn. I've noticed him with his hand on Matt's doorknob before but he always pulls away almost as if he's been burned when he touches it."

"Do you think maybe it's time to dismantle that shrine? How do you think he must feel knowing that you kind of have a monument to your dead husband? Before you jump all over me, I know you loved Matt but imagine what Damon must think knowing that he's not allowed in there?"

"It's not like that Bonnie. That room isn't a shrine and it certainly isn't off limits to Damon. I just want something to keep Matt's memory alive for Jack."

"Elena, Jack has no memory of Matt but he does love Damon. Do you love Damon enough to move beyond Matt especially now if you are pregnant with his child?"

"I love Damon more than I ever thought it was possible to love a man. Don't you see, Bonnie, a part of me is wracked with guilt for loving a man more than I loved my husband?"

"Oh sweetheart. Don't think like that. The last thing Matt would want is for you to feel guilty for finding love again. You and Matt were great together...," she pauses long enough to give me a hug before continuing. "But Elena, can't you see that you and Damon are what most people only dream about? You should embrace that, not be afraid of it."

"You're right, Bonnie. Thank you," I say softly, giving her a hug. "Now, why don't you check my blood or my urine so I know whether or not I'm pregnant?"

"Yes, mam," she agrees, handing me a cup to pee in. Shaking my head, I take it from her and walk into the bathroom to give Bonnie what she needs.

* * *

"I'm home, Damon," I say when I step in the house.

"Mommy, you're back," Jack says, looking up from where he's playing on the floor with his Legos.

"Where's Damon?"

"He said he'd be right back."

"Where did he go?"

"Upstairs." Sighing, I let out a breath. I was almost afraid that Damon had left him alone. Immediately I chide myself silently for even thinking such a thing. Damon would never leave a four year old, least of all Jack alone to fend for himself. When I hear footsteps trotting down the steps, I look up, smiling when I see him. I hope he'll be just as happy about this as I am.

"Hi," I say, walking towards him.

"Hi," he says, looking everywhere but at me.

"Damon, is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just tired. Now that you're home, I'm going to take a nap."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course. I just didn't sleep very well last night."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, Elena. I'm fine," he mumbles, turning on his heals and walking back upstairs. Shaking my head, I go to the living room to play with Jack for a little while before I have to make supper. Although he does come downstairs when I tell him that our meal is ready, I don't miss how he just picks at his food. As soon as he puts his dishes in the sink, he excuses himself and goes back upstairs. Feeling ignored, I bristle a little on the inside. After doing the dishes, I help Jack pick up his room and after reading him a story, I tuck him in. By the time I get to our bedroom, Damon is laying quietly. Although I'm angry with him for not confiding in me, I suddenly remember my conversation with Bonnie. Even though I'm fuming on the inside, I'm too tired myself to get into it with him tonight. Sighing, I reach over to run my fingers along the side of his face. When I feel how hot he is, anger turns to worry.

"You feel really warm, Damon. Do you have a fever?"

"I didn't check."

"I'll go get the thermometer."

"No, Elena, I'm just really tired okay?"

"But Damon, I think we should check it."

"Elena, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight now," he whispers, rolling over so his back is to my front.

"I love you, Damon."

"I love you too, Elena. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I whisper, pressing a kiss to the skin between his shoulder blades. When he doesn't respond, I turn onto my side so we're laying back to back rather than snuggling together like we usually do. Somewhere deep inside, I know that I may be part of the reason for his churlishness but we're supposed to be a team, loving and supporting and communicating with each other. Knowing that nothing will change tonight, I finally close my eyes and wait for sleep to pull me into unconsciousness.

When I wake up the next morning, I roll over, frowning when instead of feeling Damon, I see an envelope lying on his pillow. Fearing the worst, I'm almost afraid to open it. What if this is his way of saying goodbye? Visibly shaking, I fly out of bed, immediately running to the closet to make sure that his clothes are in there. Even though his clothes are hanging and his drawers are still filled with socks, underwear and tee shirts, I collapse to the floor, the fear inside too much weight to bear in this moment. Unable to hold back, tears fill my eyes, loud wails leave my lips. It's only when I hear the door crack open, knowing it's Jack, I quickly wipe my eyes and stand up. Taking him into my arms, I hug him to me as if my life depended on it.

* * *

Deep in thought, I hardly notice anything until I hear the doorbell ring. I'm beside myself because I'm so afraid that I'm losing Damon. I love him so much so that I asked him to move in with Jack and me about eight months ago. Things were going really well till maybe the last month or so. I just wish I knew what was eating at him. Although he blows it off, me off, I can see the melancholy in his eyes when he looks at Jack and at me when he thinks I'm not paying attention. Although I miss Matt almost everyday, the love I had for him was so much different than what I feel for Damon. I know I would've been happy to spend my life with Matt. But Damon..., I embrace life and cherish each day that he's a part of it. It's not that he has Matt's heart, it's his mind and his soul that I fell head over heels with. The sparks I felt when he touched me for the first time. And despite the depth of my feelings for Damon, somehow I know that Matt's okay with all of this. He'd want me and Jack to be happy. When the doorbell rings a second time, I get up to answer it.

"Hi Caroline, come on in," I say, stepping aside to let her in. Suddenly I give pause. Once in a great while, a moment, a thought hits me out of the blue. The ringing of the doorbell is what started the whole cascade of pain _that_ morning.

"Elena?" Caroline asks, pulling me out of that thought. Before I can say anything, Jack's voice catches our attention.

"Who's here, mommy?"

"Jack, it's me, auntie Caroline," she says, lifting him into her arms when he runs towards her. After giving him a hug, she sets him back down.

"How's my favorite little boy?"

"Good. Will you play with me?"

"I will after I talk to your mommy for a little bit okay? Come on." Extending her hand, he takes a hold and the two of them walk into the living room. Taking a breath, I go out to the kitchen to get something to drink. Walking over to the sink, I place my hands on the edge, squeezing hard enough to whiten my fingertips. Shaking my head back and forth, I look outside, hoping that I'll see him drive up but I know I won't.

"Elena, what's wrong?"

Startled, I throw my hand against my chest to still my heart. "What did you do with Jack?"

"I put on a movie for him. Now talk to me," she says, pulling out a chair and pointing to it till I sit down. Knowing her way around the kitchen like it's her own, she pulls out a couple of bottles of Lipton Peach tea. After handing me one, she sits down.

"Talk."

"It's Damon. I don't know what's wrong but he's pulling away from me, Care. He insists that nothing is wrong but I sense the distance. I just wish he'd talk to me."

"That doesn't sound like him."

"I know. He's always been so attentive and loving but not anymore, he sleeps with his back facing me. We haven't made love in weeks. I've noticed it with Jack too."

"Have you asked him point blank?"

"No, he'll just tell me that I'm imagining it anyway."

"Maybe you should put on some of your sexiest lingerie and you know, seduce him?"

"You know, I might consider that if he was around. He's in Virginia Beach for his doctor appointment and he told me he was going to stay a couple of days so he could spend some time with his parents."

"Well that's not out of the ordinary is it? I mean his cardiologist and heart surgeon are in Norfolk and the Virginia Beach area."

"I know, Caroline but I'm worried about him. I know he had a fever the other night but he brushed me off. He has to take the immunosuppressive drugs so his body won't reject his transplant. That's why we have to be so careful when Jack gets sick. That's why we have an abundance of hand sanitizer and face masks just in case. I'm afraid for him, Care. I love him so much and in many ways much more so than I ever loved Matt. But sometimes I feel guilty about that. Don't get me wrong, I loved Matt and it nearly destroyed me when he died. But Damon, he... he brought me back to life."

"Elena, does he have a reason to doubt how you feel? I know a lot of us thought that you were only attracted to him because he has Matt's heart. As time passed, I could see that your feelings were real but maybe he's having some doubts? Did anything happen to cause him to question your feelings?"

"Nothing that I can think of," I start to say, only now remembering that I called him Matt not all that long ago after he made love to me. We did talk about it and I thought he knew that it was something I said in my sleep induced stupor. Surely that isn't still bothering him?

"Are you sure?" she asks softly. "Men can be so insecure sometimes. Knowing Damon, I suspect that's part of it. But it may not be the only reason. Didn't you tell me a few days ago that his appetite has been poor and he's been sleeping a lot?"

"Yes, it's crossed my mind that he might be sick too, Caroline, but surely he'd say something to me if that were the case," I start to say, my voice trailing off because suddenly it feels like I've been kicked in the gut. If he is sick, would he tell me given the distance that has grown between us?

"Elena?"

"Wha... what?"

"I don't know where you were just now but wouldn't that, I mean if he's sick, explain why he's been so tight lipped as you say? Maybe he's afraid and doesn't want to scare you too?"

"I don't know, Caroline? I'd like to think that our relationship is such that he wouldn't have to keep secrets from me."

"Well, he is really close with his parents right? Did you ever think of calling his mom?"

"Honestly, Care, the thought did cross my mind but then I decided that I couldn't really talk to her behind Damon's back. I mean he's staying at their house with them. What would he think? What would his mom and dad think? I don't want them to have to lie to him. And besides all of that, I'd rather wait for him to tell me what has him so upset. When he gets home, I'll ask him flat out. And if he still won't level with me, I will give his mom a call."

"That's my girl," Caroline says. After keeping her promise to Jack, playing with him for a half hour or so, she tells me that she has to leave. Smiling, I walk her to the door, give her a hug and say goodbye. Once I shut the door, Jack is suddenly clinging to my leg.

"What is it sweetie?" I ask, lifting him into my arms.

"Where is Damon? I miss him."

"He went to visit his mommy and daddy for a couple of days. He'll be back soon."

"He didn't say goodbye," he pouts, his little eyes tearing up.

"Damon loves you Jack."

"But why didn't he say goodbye?"

"I don't know, little man. He didn't say goodbye to me either. Do you want to take a nap with mommy? I'm tired." Even though his lower lip is still jutting out, he bobs his head up and down. After putting him down, I take his hand and the two of us go upstairs and crawl onto the bed. It takes Jack only a few minutes to drift off. Yawning widely, I pick up my phone. I text Damon telling him that I'll call when I wake up and tell him how much I love everything about him. Putting it down, I curl onto my side, pull my son into my embrace and close my eyes, sleep overwhelming me in moments.

* * *

"Damon?"

" _I'm sorry for waking you, Elena. I'm going to be staying at my parents for a few more days. Dr. Thompson is at a conference but he'll be back in a couple of days. I don't want to drive all the way back to Mystic Falls only to have to turn around and drive back here the next day."_

"Damon, what's going on?"

 _"Not this again. Nothing is wrong. Why won't you believe me?"_

"What do you expect, Damon? You barely talk to me much less touch me anymore."

 _"That's not true. I have to go, I'll talk to you soon."_

Angry, I heave my phone. Fortunately it lands on the couch so the screen doesn't shatter. Not knowing what to do or how to feel, I feel tears begin to well in my eyes. He didn't even tell me that he loves me. How can I tell him about the baby now? I don't want him to feel he has to stay with Jack and me because of the baby. I want him to be with us because he loves us and wants to be with us. I just wish he would talk to me."

"Mommy?"

"What is it, Jack?"

"Why are you crying?"

"I miss Damon."

"I miss him too. When is he coming back?"

"I honestly don't know. I'll tell you what, you get your jacket and then we'll go to the park. How does that sound?"

"Yay," he squeals, running to his room to grab his hoodie.

While shaking my head, I can't help the smile that breaks out on my face. Unconsciously, I rub my hand against my lower abdomen. Immediately I'm so full of love because I know that this baby is part of Damon just as Jack is part of Matt. There's no doubt in my mind that this baby will bring me as much joy as Jack has. As soon as he comes back and after locking the front door, I take his hand and we walk down the sidewalk to the park at the end of the block.

* * *

One day becomes two and two becomes four and before I know it, Damon has been gone a whole week. He makes excuse after unbelievable excuse when he calls and I've had enough. Although I'm absolutely livid with him, a part of me knows something is seriously wrong or he wouldn't be acting like this. Just as I reach for the phone to call Damon's mother, it rings. Surprisingly enough, it's Angeline Salvatore.

"Angie, hi."

 _"Elena, how are you sweetheart?"_

"I've been better and actually I was just about to call you."

 _"I'm sure I know what it's about and that's why I'm calling you."_

"What is it, Angie? What's wrong with him? Why isn't he here?"

 _"Elena, Damon is very sick. He's not only having some issues with his body rejecting the transplant but he also has a very serious infection. He didn't want to worry you. There's more but I won't get into that over the phone. I'm hoping that you and Jack will come."_

Stunned speechless, I rake my hand through my hair, my mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"Elena?"

"I'm here. I had no idea that he was so sick, Angie. I mean, I knew something was bothering him and that he had a fever one night but I had no idea that he was sick enough to have to be hospitalized. I even asked him point blank time and again if something was wrong but he just brushed off my concerns."

 _"I know that. He's very troubled, Elena. He's in neutropenic isolation which is a fancy word for protective isolation, protecting him that is. His white blood cell count is dangerously low and with the infection, he's having a rough go of it. We have to wear a gown, gloves and mask to go into his room. Jack won't be allowed to see him. He's too young."_

"I'll start packing right away, Angie. It's late and I don't want to risk driving when I'm so tired. I'll get Jack up early and we'll leave then."

" _That's fine, sweetheart. Neither me nor Pepe nor Damon for that matter would want you to risk your life. Get a good night's sleep and I'll see you tomorrow. Bye now," she adds, hanging up._

In shock, I hang up my phone. Like a zombie, I mechanically pull a bag out of my closet and start to pack a few things for myself and my son. Once I finish, I carry it downstairs and stick it in the trunk so I don't have to worry about packing in the morning. Suddenly feeling extremely fatigued, I tuck Jack into bed then walk into my room. After stripping out of my clothes, I step into the shower. Turning the hot water on to a comfortable level, I'm suddenly overwhelmed by the possibility of losing Damon. With fear gripping my entire body, my knees give out and I slide down the shower wall, collapsing in tears.

* * *

After having a fitful night's sleep, I yawn widely, forcing myself to get up so Jack and I get on the road. I wish I would've pressed Damon harder. Maybe he would've told me what he's feeling and what he's thinking about and what's really bothering him as far as he and I are concerned. Rather than stop at the house, I go straight to the hospital after Angie texts me the hospital's address and his room number. Although she told me that Jack won't be allowed to see Damon, I'm hoping that either Pepe or Angie can keep an eye on him while I go to see Damon. As soon as we reach the intensive care unit, I go to the waiting room, expelling a relieved breath when I find Damon's brother, Stefan.

"Elena, hi," he says, standing up. Walking over, he picks up Jack and gives him a high five. Damon and his older brother have always been very close. Stefan has spent time with us in Mystic Falls, a lot of time actually. He's dating Rebekah Mikaelson who's a good friend of mine.

"Stefan, do you know anything?"

"Mom and dad are with him right now. His doctor is in the room."

"How is he?"

"He's very ill, Elena. They did a biopsy on his heart several days ago. They're giving him IV steroids and have increased his immunosuppressive drugs. As you know, those drugs lower his ability to fight infections. I'm worried about him."

"So am I. He's been distant for some time already. I don't know if it's because he wasn't feeling right or...?" Just as I start to open my mouth again, Pepe and Angie come into the waiting room. Immediately Angie rushes over to me, giving me a big hug.

"I'm so glad that you came, Elena. I know he'll be happy to see you," she starts to say. With her attention drawn by Jack, she quickly walks over to where Stefan is looking through a story book with him.

"Come with me, Elena. I'll take you to him," Pepe says, motioning for me to walk out of the room first. Every step I take towards him is making my heart thrum harder against my ribcage. I'm so scared that he won't want me here. As soon as we reach the threshold of his room, Pepe reaches for some isolation supplies. He helps me slip on a disposable gown, tying it in the back for me. After handing me a face mask and gloves, I slip them on. Taking a deep breath, I step inside as soon, following right after Damon's dad. My stomach twists painfully when I see how much weight he's lost. The lines of his jaw are more prominent and I can see his collarbones poke out. He also has an oxygen mask over his face. When the door closes, he looks over towards us, his eyes pale and lifeless.

"I didn't want you to find out," he whispers, turning away from me.

"Damon, I want to help you."

"You can't help me, not anymore," he says so softy that I barely perceive the words. Confused, I look at Pepe. I'm a little shaken when I see his eyes start to water. Sucking in a deep fortifying breath through my mask, I walk around to the other side of the bed so he'll have to face me. With my gloved hand, I reach up and cup his face before leaning over to press my masked lips against his cheek.

"I love you, Damon. Is this why you've been pulling away from me? Is it because you knew you were sick?"

"Elena, I'm tired," he pants, his words hard to understand under his mask. He turns over again so I'm left to stare at his back again. When he pulls his mask off, an alarm starts blaring causing a nurse to run into the room.

"Mr. Salvatore, you need to leave your mask on," she says from the doorway while she's putting her own isolation garb on. Once she's properly attired, she walks in, takes the mask from his hand and slips it over his face again.

"Please go," he whispers, the look on his face is so devastating.

"Why won't you let me in?"

"Dad, will you let us alone for a moment?"

"Sure, son. I'll be back a little later." Pepe gives me a knowing look before walking out.

"I know you won't remember this but before my heart got so bad that I was house bound, I went to Mystic Falls with a couple of my friends. I met Matt. I spent most of the evening talking to him because I couldn't mix alcohol with my medication. You came in that night, Elena. You accidentally bumped me when you handed him a keyring."

"What?" I ask, completely shocked.

"It's true. With my body rejecting his heart, I didn't want you to have to lose him a second time. Don't you see, Elena. All I'm doing is stealing his life? I'm a cheap stand in. I know you wish I could be him, I mean you called me Matt after..."

"Damon, no.. NO. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love you for you, not because you have his heart inside of your chest." I stare at him, trying to convey with my eyes how much I care. With this mask on my face, he can't see my expression. I'm horrified that he would think that I only want him because of what he carries inside of his chest.

"Please, Elena, I'm tired," he says softly, turning away from me yet again. With moisture clouding my vision, I walk over to his bedside, lean over and press a kiss to the top of his head. After giving his shoulder a squeeze, I spin around and walk to the doorway. I quickly dispose of my isolation garb then hurry out of his room, tears trailing unbidden down my cheeks.

* * *

With all of the emotional baggage of the last couple of days, I'm completely exhausted. Since Angie didn't want me to drive, she made me ride in the car with her while Stefan drove my car back to their home. As soon as we get in the house, she tells Stefan to play with Jack so she and I can talk for a little bit. Taking me by the hand, she leads me into Damon's old bedroom. After excusing herself to use the bathroom, she leaves me alone in here for the time being. Looking around, a smile forms on my face when I look around. There are pictures of him when he was so young. There's one of him leaping in the air after shooting a basketball. There is also a trophy case with ribbons and his track awards. There's a book case and his dresser on top of which are pictures of him, Stefan and some of all of them. I'm surprised to see a picture of Damon, Jack and me, standing on the beach near the water. Running my fingers over his face, I can't seem to stop the tears that start to form in my eyes.

 _"Take off your tee shirt, Damon. Let's go into the water."_

 _"No, Elena. My scar and aside from that, I don't want to burn to a crisp."_

 _"Why are you so self conscious about your scar? If it wasn't there, you wouldn't be here with me now," I say softly, pressing now one but a couple kisses against his tee shirt right where his scar lays._

 _"It's ugly, that's why," he says, staring at me, his look almost forlorn._

 _"Damon, I love you, scars, warts and all."_

 _"Warts? I don't have any warts," he scoffs feigning indignity._

 _"Yes, you do. There's that one on your little toe," I start to say, turning around. Looking back over my shoulder, I give him a wink, swinging my ass as I walk towards the water's edge where Jack, Angie and Pepe are building a a sand castle. Just as I start to think my attempt at seduction has fallen flat, I'm suddenly in the air, having been thrown over Damon's shoulder. Laughter erupts and the next thing I know we're waist deep in the water._

"That was a fun day," Angie observes, stepping into the room.

"Yeah, it was," I add, looking at it one more time before setting it down.

"Listen, Elena. I know that you love my son. I really do but somehow he got it in his head that you only love him because he carries Matt's heart inside of his chest. Why would he think that, Elena?"

Angered by her question, I have to turn my back to her for a few moments. It makes me crazy that people think I would use Damon in that way. But by the same token, have I given _him_ and others reason to think that? Caroline actually mentioned the same thing. Even if he were to lose Matt's heart, I wouldn't love Damon any less. I just don't want that to happen though not because of Matt but because odds are that he wouldn't get so lucky a second time. So many people die every year while waiting on a transplant list, I just don't want Damon to have to go through that again. It doesn't matter to me whose heart beats inside of his chest so long as one does. I just need him to live.

"Elena?"

"I don't know why he thinks that, Angie. I loved Matt, I can't and won't deny that but I've never wished for Damon to be him. Never..," I whisper, tears immediately filling me eyes.

"Oh sweetheart, I didn't mean to make you cry. I just haven't seen him so despondent since we thought he was going to die. His whole life revolved around here and the doctor's office. Especially after he had the ventricular assist device placed. He always had to have a battery source nearby. He was so close to death, Elena. I had many sleepless nights back then. I didn't want him to feel like he was being smothered but there were many nights when I slept in the recliner at his bedside. I just didn't want him to die alone. If it wasn't me, it was Pepe. And as much as I'm sure Damon would've preferred a little semblance of privacy, he never once complained. Like I said, we were afraid that he would die in his sleep and one of us would wake up only to find him blue and cold and hard, you know, rigor mortis. I know it's morbid but we came so close to losing him. You brought him back to life, Elena. But if your heart doesn't truly lie with him, you're going to have to be honest with Damon. He deserves no less."

"But my heart does lie with Damon, I promise you it does. I don't know why everyone is questioning me about that. From Damon to my friend and now you too," I snap, unfairly so. The weight of the last several days finally taking its toll on me. Frantic and edgy, I start pacing the length of the room however small it is.

"I love him so much, why can't you see that, why can't he?" I add, finally collapsing onto the bed. Burying my face in my hands, I'm crying so hard that I'm literally shaking. Within seconds, I feel her put her arms around me and pull me close.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn't have pushed you tonight. I can see that you're barely running on fumes yourself. Do you want to sleep in his room or in the guest room?"

"I'd like to sleep in here, you know, to be close to him in some way."

"Of course, I understand. Do you want me to bring Jack up?"

"Sure," I tell her, letting her embrace me in a goodnight hug. After we share a look, she gives me another hug and leaves me alone so I can get some rest. As soon as she's gone, I walk into Damon's closet. Finding a bathrobe, I quickly slip out of my clothes and walk into the bathroom down the hall so I can take a nice relaxing bath. When the water is deep enough, I drop the robe and climb in, lay back and close my eyes, hoping the weight of the day will lift. Thoughts of Matt and Damon swirl in my head, eventually becoming so confusing that I can't separate one from the other. All I know is that I have to do everything in my power to fight for and with Damon. He needs something to glom onto, something that will make him want to fight for his life. Our baby will do that. I need to tell him.

The next thing I know the now cool water wakes me up. Shivering, I get out, dry myself off, slip the robe back on and then walk back to Damon's bedroom. I reach the door at the same time Pepe is stepping out.

"I put Jack to bed. He fell asleep watching cartoon."

"Thank you Pepe. I'm going to go to bed too. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night."

After watching him walk away, I go inside, pushing the door closed behind me. As soon as I put my pajamas on, I crawl in bed, pull Jack into my embrace and then close my eyes, sleep overwhelming me in moments.

 _Having spent the afternoon shopping with Rebekah and Caroline, all I want to do is sit down and take these shoes off of my aching feet. Walking into the living room, I plop down onto the couch, immediately slipping my feet out of these God awful shoes. Sighing, I lean back, wiggling my toes delightfully since they're no longer confined. When I open my eyes again, the room is brighter, the atmosphere almost dream-like. I'm surprised to see Matt sitting in the recliner that sits to the right of the sofa. Confused, I sit upright, shake my head and then look again. No, I'm not hallucinating. He looks exactly as he did the last time I saw him as him. He's wearing his tee shirt, running shorts and shoes. His hair is tousled like it always looks when he gets back from a run._

 _"You look happy, Elena."_

 _"I am very, very happy. It's Damon. It's not just that he brought me back to life, he did, but he changes me too. Damon challenges me, surprises me, he makes me question my life, my beliefs. He truly makes me a better person."_

 _"I'm glad you found someone, Elena. Where's Jack?"_

 _"Jack is with Jeremy. He's spending the night with him."_

 _"I saw his picture. He's really growing," he says, his eyes staring at Jack's bedroom door._

 _"He is, he's practically your doppelganger," I laugh, my son's beautiful face popping into my head._

 _"Matt, I have to let you go. You'll always have a piece of my heart but Damon shouldn't have to compete with your spirit. I love him so much, more than I ever thought was humanly possible. It's like I was swept up in a current, I couldn't escape it, the love I feel for him.. it consumes me."_

 _"Elena, calm down, sweetheart, it's okay. I only came back to see you and Jack for a few moments. I'm truly happy that you found someone who loves you so much. I want you to live your life with him and not worry about me. I'm okay. And one more thing, Elena. You're doing a fine job with Jack," he says. After he drops a kiss to my forehead, he simply evaporates._

"Matt?" I blurt out, my eyes flying open. Confused to my surroundings, I look around, breathing a huge sigh of relief when I remember where I am. Thankful that Jack is still asleep, I very carefully sit up at the bedside. Reaching for the bottle of water that I set on the bedside stand last night, I take a drink. After setting it back down, I drop my face into my hands and contemplate that dream, vision, apparition, whatever it was. He's right, I need to let him go for his sake and most especially for Damon's. If Damon and I can put our relationship back together, I'm going to talk to him about selling the house. We'll need something bigger with another baby coming anyway. And there are too many ghosts there for Damon to have to fight with. Bonnie is right, it is a shrine and I know Matt wouldn't have wanted me to put him on a pedestal either. Somehow, even if I have to have Bonnie and Caroline do the work for me, Matt's room is going to have to be cleaned out. It needs to be done before Damon comes home from the hospital, that is if he comes home with me.

Taking a breath, I smile at my son's sleeping figure then crawl back in bed, curl onto my side and go back to sleep, this time dreamless.

* * *

Since Angie and Pepe are taking Jack to the Virginia Zoological Park in Norfolk today, I get dressed, have breakfast with them and then I ride along with Stefan to the hospital.

"You look a little pale this morning, are you okay, Elena?"

"I'm fine, Stefan. I just haven't been able to sleep much, you know since he hasn't been at home."

"I hate seeing my brother in such a state. I remember how his whole life changed in literally the spur of the moment. It was an important basketball game. He jumped to shoot a basket and in the next second, he collapsed to the gym floor, dead. Fortunately the school had a defibrillator or he wouldn't be here now. As you know, his heart attack was so severe that it damaged so much of his heart muscle that it necessitated the transplant. For a time, he did okay as long as he took his medication and paced himself but then he had another heart attack and after that he was pretty much bed bound. He was hooked to that device and an oxygen machine. A lot of his young adulthood was stolen from him."

"I can't imagine how scary that must have been for you all and for Damon too. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he did die for a few minutes."

"He did. And he's been so happy with you and Jack, Elena. Do you know why he's so despondent now?"

"Somehow he got it in his head that I only love him because he has Matt's heart and that he's only a placeholder. It's not true, Stefan. Yes, I'll always have a place in my heart for Matt but I'm so in love with Damon that it physically hurts even to think about losing him," I add.

Reaching over, he lays his hand atop mine and gives it a squeeze before putting it back on the steering wheel. I believe you, Elena. Now we just have to get Damon to believe you too. I'll come in with you for a few minutes but then I need to go home. Rebekah is coming and I told her I'd be at home. She and I will pick you up after she gets here. You have my cell number so if you need to come home before I get back, just give me a ring, okay?"

"Yep," I agree, turning to stare out the window as the miles go by till we arrive at the hospital. As soon as Stefan pulls into a space in the parking ramp, we get out and walk rather quickly into the hospital. Stepping into the elevator, Stefan pushes the button for Damon's floor. When we get to the threshold of his room, I set my purse on the sink then reach for one of the gowns, slipping it on first, then the gloves and finally I slide the mask over my mouth and nose. Sucking in a breath, I walk into the main part of his room. He appears to be sleeping so I walk in very softly and take a seat at this bedside. Stefan follows right behind. I shush him with my finger against my masked lips and point to Damon to show him that he's asleep. He still has the oxygen mask on. I hate that he looks so pale yet. Looking around, he has an IV dripping fluids into his veins and he has an oximeter probe attached to one of his fingers. There's also the sleeves on his legs that the nurse explained are there to prevent blood clots. Standing up, I ever so softly finger a few hairs off of his forehead.

"It's time for you antibiotic, Damon," a nurse says aloud, waking him as she walks into the room. It's then that our eyes meet. He stares at me for several seconds before finally turning away from me. Not willing to let him brush me off again, I link my fingers with his causing him to stare at me again. Finally he surrenders, giving my fingers a squeeze. Once the nurse hangs his antibiotic, she takes his vital signs and tells him she'll be soon with his medication.

"Is he still running a fever?" I ask. Not letting go of his hand, I turn to face the nurse.

"Yes, but it's more of a low grade temperature now which is good. We've been giving him some Neupogen. It's a man-made form of a protein that stimulates the growth of white blood cells. His white blood cell count is a little higher but because of his immunosuppressant drugs, we need to keep him in isolation for his protection."

"I understand. Thank you for your time."

"You're welcome. I'll be back soon, Damon."

"Thanks," he says softly, his eyes on mine.

"Little brother, how are you feeling today?"

"I'm tired, Stefan. I just feel like I have no energy at all."

"Have you talked to your doctors?"

"Yes, they said it's because of the infection. And they want me to eat more because I've lost weight."

"Does anything sound good to you? I have to run home to meet Rebekah but I'll bring something back for you. McDonalds, Taco Bell, anything?"

"Yeah, maybe Subway?"

"Sure, one of the chicken sandwiches right?"

"Ah ha. You know what I like don't you?"

"I do. Alright, I'm going to go. I'll be back later okay?"

"Thanks, Stef."

"You're welcome. Damon, talk to her," he says, his tone firm. Damon stares at him for several seconds before nodding.

"Good," Stefan adds, giving his arm a squeeze before he leaves the two of us alone. When he's gone, I get up and sit down on the side of the bed so I can be closer to him.

"Look Damon, I'm so, so, sorry if I made you feel like you are merely a replacement for Matt. I love you so much, Damon. And yes, I loved Matt once but Damon, you're it for me. What I have with you is so much more intense than anything Matt and I shared. And I'm not demeaning his memory. He and I were happy but you, Damon, have opened up the beauty of the world for me. Please believe me when I tell you that you're my light, my love, my future."

"Elena, I.. I.. I don't want you to have to watch me die."

"Stop that! You are not going to die. Do you hear me?" I scold, glaring at him.

"I'm not getting any better, Elena."

"Because you've given up. But I haven't and I'm going to fight for you and for us every step of the way. I wasn't going to tell you till we're in a better place but you need something to fight for Damon," I tell him. Standing up, I walk over to where I set my purse down and pull out the sonogram picture. Smiling under the cover of the mask, I put my hand behind my back then go back over to him. Taking a breath, I sit back down at his bedside.

"What is it, Elena?" he asks, his voice weak and fatigued sounding.

"Just this, Damon," I offer, handing him the picture. His eyes widen to the size of saucers. Never taking his eyes off of it, he sits upright and then runs his fingers over the image on the photo.

"Is this what I think it is?"

"Yes, Damon. We're going to have a baby."

"I.. I can't believe it," he adds, his eyes still fixed on the picture.

"That picture in your hands says otherwise," I tease, giving his forearm a squeeze. When he finally looks at me, his eyes are glistening with unshed tears. Shaking his head back and forth, he reaches for me, pulling me into his too thin arms.

"I love you, Elena but can you love me for me and not because of him?"

"Damon, I wish you didn't have to ask that but of course, I love you for the man you are. It doesn't matter to me whose heart beats inside your chest as long there's one beating. I love you so much that it cuts me to my very core to even think that I could lose you. Please believe in me, believe in us, Damon."

Even though his eyes are focused firmly on mine, I can see his mind whirring a mile a minute. His eyes suddenly dart from the picture to my belly and finally to my face. While never letting go of the photo, he hugs me close, dropping a kiss to the top of my head. Burying my face in his chest, I cringe when I feel his ribs but I push that aside for now. I just want to cherish these few moments in case the worse should happen.

"When is it due?"

"Baby Salvatore is due in February."

"Amethyst, it's a pretty stone."

"It is," I agree, smiling when I feel him drop another kiss to the crown of my head.

"You should go home and get some rest. I'm sure Jack misses you."

"He's at the zoo with your parents. I'm sure he doesn't miss us at all."

Just as I start to snuggle in again, Stefan and Rebekah walk into this room, carrying a McDonald's sack.

"Look, I know you asked for Subway but I stopped to talk to the nurse about your diet before I left. She said you're on a neutropenic diet which means no fresh fruits or vegetables. And the reason you can't have any flowers or plants is because of your isolation too. Anyway, I brought you McDonald's instead."

"That's fine, Stef. Thank you," Damon says, taking the sack from his hand and digging in to the food.

"What's this?" Stefan asks, picking up the sonogram photo.

"I'm going to be a daddy, Stefan. Can you believe it?" Damon asks. The fact that he's literally beaming brings tears of joy to my eyes.

"Congratulations, Damon. I'm going to be an uncle!" Stefan squeals, giving Damon a high five.

"Congratulations, Elena," Rebekah adds, smiling widely herself.

"Thank you. It certainly was unexpected news but I couldn't, we couldn't be happier."

"Does Jack know yet?"

"No, I want Damon and me to tell him together."

"Do mom and dad know?"

"No, Stefan, I just found out myself," Damon adds, raising a teasing eyebrow at his brother.

When I yawn, Damon demands that they take me home to get some rest. Although I don't want to go, he insists. When he splays his hand across my lower belly, I nearly melt with happiness. Even though I have the mask on, I lean in and kiss him. I know that he can at least feel my lips.

"I'll call you when we get back to the house."

"I'd like that," he says. After dropping a kiss to the top of his head, I walk out of his line of site to the doorway. Stefan and Rebekah both have their isolation garb off and are waiting for me just outside the door. I raise my finger telling them to give me a moment. Turning around, I walk back to where he can see me. Happy tears fill my eyes when I him staring at our baby's picture, a look of awe and pride visibly evident in his eyes. Not wanting to ruin the moment, I quietly back out of the room, take off my gown, gloves and mask before stepping out of his room and into the hallway, my heart bursting with so much love I can hardly contain myself.

* * *

Seemingly with a renewed sense that he is indeed loved, Damon's spirits perked up tremendously after I told him about the baby. He was more cooperative with his care, his attitude was no longer lackluster. Finally his white blood cell count is starting to rise with the Neupogen shots. They're still keeping him in isolation for his own protection but his condition has vastly improved. Pepe and Angie were thrilled with our news. She bought Damon a frame to put the picture in. He keeps it on his bedside stand, proudly boasting the evidence of his virility to everyone that comes to visit him.

After so much worry and stress, today's the day that he's being discharged. As the nurse gives him his instructions, I listen intently because I want to do everything I can to prevent this from happening again if possible. His transplant doctor told us that he may experience some chronic rejection issues but right now, he's good to go. We just have to take it one day at a time. Since Jack caught a cold that day at the zoo, he's going to stay in Norfolk with Damon's parents for a few days. They'll bring him home as soon as he's feeling better. He loves them both so he's excited to be a big boy and get to stay with Papa and Grandma.

Once the nurse finishes and he signs his paperwork, she sends in a nurse's aide with a wheelchair to take him out with. As soon as we're pushed out of the room, Stefan and Rebekah are just walking up.

"You got your walking papers?" he asks, giving his brother a wide smile and a shoulder squeeze.

"I am. Stefan, thank you for being here for me. It means a lot to me."

"Of course, Damon. You'd do the same for me."

"I would."

"Are you ready to go home?"

"Aside from Jack having to stay with mom and dad, yes, I'm excited to go home. It seems like forever since I've been there."

"It has been," I add, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Sorry, babe. Forgive me?" he adds, waggling his brows seductively at me.

"You're impossible," I laugh, leaning over to peck his lips. I can't wait till I get him home, I think to myself. When we reach the car, I thank Stefan and Rebekah profusely for keeping Jack occupied so I could be at the hospital with Damon. After we have a group hug as it were, Damon gets in the passenger seat and me behind the wheel to drive back to Mystic Falls. After settling into a comfortable silence, I happen to glance over, smiling when I see that he's sound asleep. Not wanting to wake him, I turn the radio way down. Starting to feel a little drowsy myself, I roll down the window to get some fresh air. When I see the exit for home, I pull into the right lane so I'll be able to make the turn when we get to it. As soon as we're off the interstate, I pull into a gas station. Damon doesn't even wake up. After filling the tank, I quickly pay, grabbing an energy drink as I do so. They're just vitamins and some caffeine. One can isn't going to hurt me and I need to get us safely home. By the time, I pull into my driveway, it's almost three thirty in the afternoon.

"Damon, sweetheart, wake up."

"Wha.. what?" he asks, jumping upright in his seat.

"We're home." I don't miss the uneasy look on his face when he looks at the place nor the lump in his throat when he swallows. After sharing a look with me, he unbuckles his seatbelt and steps out of the car. With my eyes on him all the while, I get out of the car and walk over to him. Offering him my hand, he latches on, takes a breath and then the two of us go inside together.

"I shouldn't be tired but I am," he says, expelling a breath.

"I'll go upstairs with you." Linking our fingers again, we go up the stairs. I stop him when we get to Matt's door. "Let's go in," I tell him, turning the knob.

"No, Elena."

"I promise it'll be okay, Damon. Trust me."

I can see the hesitation and a little fear in his eyes but finally he nods his head. I pause to press a kiss to his lips and then I push open the door. His eyes light up when he sees that it's no longer the shrine it used to be. Caroline and Bonnie and another friend of Damon's Brady helped them clear this room out while we were in Norfolk. It's been converted into a 'man-cave' if you will. There's a recliner and a large screen TV as well as a desk and a new computer for him.

"Why? When?"

"It was about time don't you think? I shouldn't have made you feel like you had to duel his ghost, Damon. I won't deny that a little part of my heart will always be his but all the rest is yours. I love you so much."

"Thank you, this is perfect, I love it," he says, walking inside. He runs his hands along the mahogany wood of the desk, smiles when he sees his new computer and then he walks over to the window to look out. Something catches his eye and he walks over to the little shelf. There's another picture of our sonogram framed and there's a picture of Damon trying to teach Jack how to play baseball. When he looks up at me again, his eyes are moist. Pinching the bridge of nose, he takes a few deep breaths then quickly closes the distance between us, pulling me into his arms for a heady kiss.

"Thank you, Elena. As much as this room bothered me, I couldn't ask you to pack up his things. I know you loved him once and that he died tragically. But this room has haunted me for a long time."

"I know and I'm sorry. There's something else that I want to discuss with you."

"Okay?"

"I want you to be a part of this decision but I was thinking that maybe we should sell the house? I mean, it would be a fresh start for us, Damon."

"But Elena, he... he was here. All your memories with him are here."

"No, Damon. All my memories of him are in my head and in my heart. I don't need this house to remember him. I want us to build our own memories, us, our child, children, I don't know. I just think we need this, Damon."

"Of course, I'd love to start fresh without all of the baggage that this place holds but I don't want you to regret it either. You need to give this some good long thought before you make such a monumental decision."

"My mind is already made up, Damon. I, I mean we, have an appointment with a realtor the day after tomorrow."

"If this was your plan, why would you go through all the time and expense of redoing this room?" he asks, waving his arm back at it.

"Well, because we'll be here for some time yet. I didn't want you to have to compete with his memory anymore."

"I love you, Elena."

Closing the distance between us, he cups my face in his palms, joining our lips in a blistering kiss. When he pulls back, he stoops over to put his hands under my knees, I stop him. His heart doesn't need the strain of carrying me. Taking his hands, I lead him backwards into our bedroom. As soon as we reach our destination, I waste no time, pulling his tee shirt over his head. I know he's self conscious about his scar but I think it's a testament to his will to survive. I lean forward and press kisses along the length of it while using my hands to undo the button on his jeans and lower the zipper. Dropping to my knees, I push them down his legs while he anchors his hand on my shoulder so he can step out of them and his boxers. Shivering to have him naked in front of me, I press a kiss to his already erect cock. Giving him a lascivious wink, I take him into my mouth. Curling my tongue, I run it along the slit, collecting the moisture that's there. I love the taste that is uniquely Damon. Even though my mouth is full of him, I smile when I feel him wind his hand in my hair, using it as leverage to push himself further into my mouth. With my lips and tongue, I take as much of him in as I can. With my mouth already engaged, I use my hand to fondle his balls, teasing that spot in the perineum that drive men wild.

"God, Elena, that feels incredible," he groans, his head thrown back. When he raises it, our eyes meet and never drift till he explodes in a steady stream down my throat. Holding me tight, he doesn't let go till his dick softens and slides out of my mouth.

Lord, woman. That has to be bad for the heart," he says, dropping his head to his chest.

"Damon... um are you sure it's okay if we do this?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, you just got released from the hospital."

"Sweetheart, my body was rejecting my heart. Dr. Winchester increased my doses of my Cyclosporine, Imuran and Prednisone. He wouldn't have discharged me if he didn't think I was ready. I'm okay to have sex and for your information, I did ask him about it."

"You're not too tired?"

"No, Elena, I intend to ravage you," he says, waggling his brows teasingly. Now that he's reassured me, I stand up and lift his hands to my blouse. Taking the hint, he struggles to unbutton them so he rips it apart, sending the buttons flying haphazardly across the room.

"I'll buy you a new one," he says, pressing open mouthed kisses to my neck and behind my ear while unclasping my bra with his hands. The next thing I know, I feel my knees on the back of the bed. This time he lowers himself, pulling my yoga pants and panties down my legs, leaving me bared before him. When I see goosebumps breakout on his skin, I feel sexy because I did that to him. Although I have no bump or anything visible on my belly yet, he tenderly presses kisses to my belly before laying his head against it, his hands gently massaging my hips where he's holding on. Seconds later, he stands up and pulls me in for another mind altering kiss. As soon as we separate, we crawl onto the bed, I lay down flat and he quickly lays down beside me.

Impatient because it's been along time, I pull him on top of me. With my nipples rubbing against the smooth hardness of his chest, the friction feels so good that I can already feel how wet and ready I am to receive him. The tingling feeling begins to burn deep inside. I'm hot and horny and my breathing increases as my need for him amplifies with each second that passes. As he kisses his way up my body, my chest is already heaving with want. When his fingers enter me, I raise my hips to meet them, nearly flying off of the mattress as I do.

"You are so wet already, baby," he groans, while working me into a frenzied pitch, his palm rubbing my clit while his fingers work sweet magic with my insides. Reaching down, I take him in my hand, stroking him till he's hard and erect and ready. His fingers slide in and out with ease as he plays me like a maestro with his Stradivarius. My heart is pounding so hard against my rib cage that my breaths come in pants. While his fingers continue to work their magic, he uses the pad of his thumb to increase the pressure on my clit. I'm right on the edge of Nirvana when he speeds up his strokes and crashes his mouth to mine.

"Damon," I scream, my body stiffening and my toes curling as I erupt spectacularly, my washing over me. He lowers his mouth, kissing his way down the curve of my neck to the valley of my breasts. Taking himself in hand, he rubs the head along my drenched lady parts, coating himself in my juices. Anxious, I spread my legs inviting him to settle in. My hips are already writhing as I wait impatiently for him to enter me . At the same time that I feel the tip, he sinks inside, joining our bodies.

"Dear God," I gasp, feeling the delicious stretch as each inch of his silky girth pushes inside of me. My body grips onto him like a tight leather glove. He feels so deliciously good. I want to stay like this forever, the two of us connected like this.

"So damn good," he grunts, thrusting faster and harder and deeper than I can ever remember. Reaching up, I run my hands along the sinuous muscles of his arms. Although he's lost weight, they're still strong and bulky feeling. When he starts pushing even harder, I piston my hips to meet each of his forward thrusts. Cupping my ass, he uses it for leverage to pull me flush against him, allowing him to hit that sweet spot with each thrust of his enormous cock. Without warning, he flips us. Anchoring my palms against his chest, I raise and lower my body in sync with his upward strokes. Sensing that I'm tiring, he holds on tight so he can sit us both upright. Taking my breasts in his hands, he tweaks my nipples. Letting go of one, he captures it with his mouth, suckling and biting. When I throw my head it pushes my breast further into his mouth and it feels so damn sweet.

I know I'm close again when I feel the coil begging to tighten. He lets go of my nipple with a plop and then he starts pushing up and into me hard and fast again. Seconds later my body shudders and seizes, as my second release crashes over me like a tsunami. Unable to move anymore. he pulls out and lays me down. Laying behind me, he pulls my right leg over his hip then plows back in, pushing deep inside with each thrust. Moments later, he yells my name aloud at the same time I feel his release coat my womb. Although I want us to stay connected all night, he softens and slides out of me. Rolling onto his back, his breath is coming in pants and his whole body is shuddering with aftershocks.

"Good Lord, Elena," he whisper, his voice raspy. Rolling over to face him, I lift his arm around me then snuggle in. Moments later feeling safe and warm and at home in his embrace, my eyes drop closed. The last thing I feel is his hand on my belly and his lips on the top of my head.

* * *

The future:

It's been about two and a half years since Damon and I went through that rough patch. And thankfully, at least for now, he's in relatively good health. He still has to have heart biopsies every six months to monitor the status of his donor heart.

I never dreamed that I would find such happiness again after Matt died. If I hadn't consented to meet the recipient of Matt's gift of life, I never would have met him. Sometimes that thought shakes me to my very core because I did consider saying no to Lifesource. When they first approached me about meeting him, I flat out said no. It was too soon and I just wasn't ready to face that yet. I thank God everyday that they approached me again several months later. I finally agreed when they told me how desperate the young man was to tell us thank you. For some reason, I couldn't say no the second time. Once Damon was fully on the mend, we put the house up for sale. Deciding to get a new start altogether, we pulled up stakes and moved to Virginia Beach so we'd be close to his doctors. We found a house near the beach. It has four bedroom and a huge yard for our children to play.

Unbeknownst to me, Jack asked Damon if he could call him daddy. Damon was overcome with emotions. The two of them are very close. Damon explained to him that he'd have to ask me about it first. Of course, I was more than happy that Jack felt close enough to him to call him dad. We had a small wedding at Mystic Falls State Park. It was just our family and friends. After we got home from a short honeymoon to Disney World, we asked Jack if he'd like Damon to adopt him. Although it took him a little time to comprehend it, he was excited to be called Jack Donovan-Salvatore. I'll never let him forget his real father. He has a picture of Matt holding him at his bedside and one of the three of us right after he was born on his bookshelf. I know Damon loves him and he loves Damon but he needs to know that his father was a good man too.

Today is Jack's seventh birthday. We rented one of the picnic areas that are spread along the beach. Damon is grilling burgers and hot dogs. We have potato chips and watermelon and of course birthday cake. Somethings don't change though. Damon is still self conscious about his scar and usually, though not always, wears a tee shirt when we're at the beach.

"Daddy, take me water," Hayley squeals, reaching for his hand.

"Okay, little girl. Slow down, daddy can't run as fast as you," Damon yells, trying to keep up with her. Damon is so completely in love with our little girl. She was born on a Saturday night, a week past her due date. Damon was just beside himself with happiness. My man literally beamed the first time he held her in his arms. She squeals when Damon lifts her up over his head and walks into the water with her, Jack alongside them. We had quite another surprise not long after she was born, stunning both of us when I got pregnant almost right away. Our newest addition is now about four weeks old. She's snuggled against my chest in her wrap. They're the handiest things. When I notice her eating her fist, I sit down on the sand and let her latch onto my breast. With my attention on her, I don't notice anything till I feel water dripping on me.

"What the...?"

"Mommy, language," Damon teases, holding Hayley in his arms. When I look at the water, I breathe easier when I see that Jack is with Stefan and Jeremy.

"Did you really think I'd leave him in the water alone?"

"No of course not, it's parental instinct to look. You know that."

"I do," he admits, dropping down into the sand beside me. Although Hayley was a firecracker a little bit ago, she's on the cusp of dozing off right now. Taking my hand, he gives it squeeze then leans in to press a kiss to my cheek.

"Do you want me to take her in the shade?" Angie asks, her big floppy hat obscuring her eyes.

"That would be great, mom." Standing up, Damon carefully hands Hayley off to her grandma. With her eyes only on our daughter, she carefully pushes a strand of wet hair off of her face.

"She's the spitting image of you at this age, Damon. I'm so proud of both you and Stefan. And you both married up," she teases..

"We did indeed, mom," Damon agrees, giving him mother a kiss before she walks off to take Hayley out of the sun. As soon as she gets to the enclosure, she sits down. When I hear Jack scream, I quickly look at the water. He's screaming in fun not in fear. Pepe has his legs and Stefan has his arms and they're swinging him. Jeremy is a little ways in the water, waiting to catch him. I laugh when he goes flying, landing with a splash before Jeremy raises him up, kicking and splashing.

"He's having a blast. I'm glad we decided to do this."

"Me too, baby. Someone is done eating," he points out that Casey has let go of my nipple. "Can I hold her?"

"Sure," I tell him, fixing my shirt before handing her to him. Gazing her with pride, he ever so wispily runs the back of his finger over her chubby little cheek.

"Thank you," he says, his eyes meeting mine after a few seconds pass.

"For what?"

"For being my wife, for giving me these kids, for loving me for me, for starting over here. I love you so much, Elena."

"Thank you for being my husband, for loving me when I was still lost after he died and for loving Jack. I love you too, Damon."

We both lean forward, our lips joining in a blistering kiss.

"What the...?" Damon growls playfully when little hands cover his eyes.

"Guess who?"

"Is it grandma?"

"Nope."

"Is it grandpa?" he asks, handing Casey to me with a wink.

"Nope."

"Is it Jack?" Before Jack can say anything, Damon has him in his arms and over his shoulder.

"Daddy, stop," he squeaks when Damon starts to tickle him. Before long, they plop back down beside me, with Jack sitting between his legs. Moments later, we hear someone crying for her daddy. Looking over my shoulder, I see Pepe carrying Hayley towards us.

"Come here, little girl," Damon says, extending his arms towards her. Pulling her into his arms, he sits her across his lap so Jack doesn't have to move.

"Stay like that, I want to take your picture," Angie barks, scurrying back towards the picnic table so she can grab her phone. By the time she gets back, Hayley has stopped crying but her little face is buried in Damon's chest.

"Alright everyone, smile," Angie directs. With her finger in her mouth, Hayley looks at her grandma, Jack smiles widely and Damon and I lean, our shoulders touching so we fit in the picture. After she snaps a couple, Damon and I share a look. Standing up, he picks up Hayley in one arm while taking Jack's hand with his other and the three of them walk back down to the water. As I watch them get closer to the water, I can't help the smile that forms on my face. As I look out over the horizon, my eyes meet his. And even at this distance, I can see all the love I feel for him reflected back at me. When he waves, motioning for me to join them, I carefully hand Casey to her grandma. Seeing that Stefan is holding Hayley and Jeremy has Jack, I take off in a sprint and jump into my husband's arms, the force of it, knocking both us into the water. Laughing uproariously, I start splashing him wildly. Not deterred, he leaps, dunking me under the water. Sputtering when he pulls me out, he doesn't give me even a millisecond to protest before pulling my lips to his. And in this moment, I know that whatever the future may hold for us, we'll face it together with love and laughter and family.

The End.

* * *

 _This monstrous chapter is over 12,600 words and that was before this author's note. I hope you have enjoyed it._

 _Thank you, Eva. This chapter took me forever to write. I don't know how many times it went back and forth between the two of us._

 _Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate your support so much more than you know. You're all the best._

 _Chapter Title: 'Take My Breath Away' by Berlin._

 _I have four stories in progress although we're closing in quickly on the end of 'Angels Fall' and 'Dig'. 'Nothing Left to Fear' still has much left and 'Turn the Page' will begin to post regularly as soon as 'AF' and 'Dig' are marked complete._ _Please remember to click that ' **Review** ' button. My previous longest chapter was in the 8000 word range. _

_Watch for 'Faded Coat of Blue' to post. It's a one-shot set during the American Civil War. It's my attempt to write something in third person. I don't know, I just started writing in first person and it stuck. Anxious to see what you all think of it._

 _I have to run to work now. (I can't wait to go back to my night shifts.) I hope you all have a fabulous day and thanks again._


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